A Simple Mindfulness Tool for kids and parents
How I learned about the RAIN technique
When I was at an anxious point in my life, a therapist suggested I look up Tara Brach and her book Radical Acceptance. This would be the second or third times this book was introduced to me, so I had to pick it up.
I listened to her audio book in the car when I ran errands. Her voice felt like a kind parent, her soft tone a warm blanket. It was just what I needed, and those car rides where therapy sessions for my soul. She explains a concept called “trance of unworthiness” and it resonated with me.
Brach has a podcast where she discusses many facets of identity and emotions. She gives tools that help including a meditation guided by the acronym for Recognize, Allow, Investigate and Nurture. I was guided through a RAIN meditation in a therapy session where I was spiraling in my own unworthiness. The simple practice was a tool my therapist used to calm my nervous system in the moment, and it worked.
“Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.”
Tara Brach
My children’s book
RAIN became a practice that I would use often, and will rely on indefinitely. It is an acronym that helps me remember to stop and breathe when I am feeling out of control. It inspired the flow and structure of my children’s book. Where each page guides kids through a practice of recognizing their feelings with prompts for meditation and acceptance.
Self-Love and Confidence
The RAIN technique is a mindfulness practice designed to help us with difficult emotions and cultivate self-compassion. When we can take a moment to breathe and reflect on our feelings, we can get healthier emotionally. By creating a practice with these prompts, we can transform overwhelming moments and make room for self-love and confidence.
A mindful practice
The first step, Recognize, involves identifying and acknowledging the presence of difficult feelings or thoughts without judgment. Allowing means giving yourself permission to fully experience those emotions rather than suppressing or avoiding them. Investigate encourages a deeper exploration of the feelings, understanding their roots and how they manifest in the body and mind. Finally, Nurture involves offering kindness and compassion to oneself during this process, fostering a sense of acceptance and support.
The RAIN Technique with kids.
RAIN is a great way for kids to learn how to identify and cope with big feelings. This cardboard teardrop can be kept on hand to help kids remember the steps while being playful. Parents can help kids go through the steps until they remember them on their own. My intent was that parents can have quiet time reading it to their children.
The Steps:
When you are feeling stressed, anxiety, sadness etc., pause and slowly go through these steps one at a time. You can sit quietly somewhere or you can simply start the practice right where you are. This is meant to be a practice in your toolkit that you can use whenever you are feeling overwhelmed.
1 Recognize
Start by noticing and naming the difficult emotion or thought you are experiencing. This can be anxiety, sadness, anger, or any negative feeling. Acknowledging its presence is the first step towards acknowledging your experience.
2 Allow
Give yourself permission to feel the emotions without trying to push them away or judge them. Allow the feelings to exist, reminding yourself that it’s okay to experience them. Take a few deep breaths to create a sense of space and openness.
3 Investigate
Gently explore the emotion more deeply. Ask yourself questions like: What triggered this feeling? Where do I feel it in my body? What thoughts accompany this emotion? This step helps you understand the nature of the emotion and any underlying patterns.
4 Nurture
Finally, offer yourself compassion and kindness. You might say soothing words to yourself. You might visualize a caring presence. Or think of what you would say to a friend in a similar situation. This step is about fostering self-acceptance and giving yourself the support you need.
I practice RAIN all of the time. It is a gentle reminder to be kind to myself and accept the feelings I am having in the moment. It also helps me to watch my feelings rather than respond and react. It has brought me more calm and self-compassion, and has transformed my parenting.
I will always be working on my parenting and myself. Try it with your children.
